Kindergarten SUCKS!: A Gift of Praying Mantises

Kindergarten SUCKS!: A Gift of Praying Mantises: My mom, a retired kindergarten teacher, thought it would be a wonderful idea if she ordered a habitat and praying mantis egg cases for her g...

A Gift of Praying Mantises

My mom, a retired kindergarten teacher, thought it would be a wonderful idea if she ordered a habitat and praying mantis egg cases for her grandchildren.  I too initially thought it would be fun!  

The three egg cases came today.  O eagerly opened the box while I read the directions.  First, I read that each egg case contains 150 to 300 nymphs (baby praying mantis). Initially, I assumed that I read that part wrong.  (Science was never my best subject in school.)  

My eyes went straight to EGG HATCHING INSTRUCTIONS.  After placing a paper towel on the bottom of the habitat, I was given a few options of how to secure an egg case to a stick or branch.  The first two involved using pins, or a needle and thread.  I chose the option of using super glue. Regardless,  it took a good amount of time to help O superglue three egg cases to three sticks.  We then placed them in the habitat and read a little further.  

"Spray mist the habitat once every day or two lightly with non-chlorinated water."  O ran upstairs and grabbed the spray bottle she uses for her doll's hair and I went to find some bottled water.  The only bottled water we had was frigid cold, so I put it in a coffee cup and warmed it up for the little praying mantis eggs.  O spritzed the habitat once.

We found the perfect place in our kitchen for the habitat to live and I sat down to read a little further.  I especially wanted to know more about how many praying mantis we may be expecting.  Here is what I found out...

• It's true 150 to 300 tiny mantises per egg.  If all three eggs hatch, we will have 450 to 600 tiny mantises to feed!!!!!  
• Oh and speaking of feeding, we will need to feed the little critters fruit flies.  Who knew we might be able to buy fruit fly cultures at our local pet supply store.  If that doesn't work, we need to contact a fruit fly supplier.  Can't wait to meet him!
• It doesn't end there.  No.  As it turns out, as they get bigger we will be buying crickets, maggots, houseflies, moths caterpillars and spiders.  So if they get a little hungry, what's the worst that can happen...they will EAT EACH OTHER! 
• Mantises molt (shed their skeletons every 2-3 weeks) so once they hatch we can't release them into the wild until their third molt...8-9 weeks...three months of feedings and spritzings.

While I was reading all of this, O wanted my attention.  My mind couldn't help but think about the amount of time it will take to maintain this science experiment.  O came up to me, looked me in the eye and said, "Mommy, did you hear me?  I hate bugs, especially praying mantises."  I feel your pain O!  Kindergarten SUCKS!

Kindergarten SUCKS!: Another Loose Tooth

Kindergarten SUCKS!: Another Loose Tooth: O has another loose tooth.  However, this time she has a plan.  She woke up this morning and said, "Mommy, if my second tooth comes out toda...

Another Loose Tooth

O has another loose tooth.  However, this time she has a plan.  She woke up this morning and said, "Mommy, if my second tooth comes out today, we need to go buy a whiteboard before tonight because GG always writes a question to the tooth fairy on her white board."

It's true, her seven year old  friend GG knows everything about her tooth fairy because of the notes she has left on the whiteboard.  GG's tooth fairy's name is Bella Rose.  Bella Rose lives with all of her friends in a magical place of flowers and hills of green.  Bella Rose loves cardinal birds and the color pink.    

I started searching on Google to check how long Staples is open tonight in case we needed to make a mad dash to buy a whiteboard.  I was interrupted by O excitedly shouting, "Wait a minute, mommy!  I don't have to write her a note.  If my tooth fairy is really magical, she can read my mind and know what questions I'm asking."

The only question I have for the tooth fairy is, "How aware are you that from this mom's point of view Kindergarten SUCKS?"  

Kindergarten SUCKS!: "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

Kindergarten SUCKS!: "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!": I love April 20th.  I love my birthday.  I have always loved my birthday.  I loved my birthday at age six and I love my birthday at age 41. ...

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

I love April 20th.  I love my birthday.  I have always loved my birthday.  I loved my birthday at age six and I love my birthday at age 41.  It's fabulous.  It's so good to be me.

When I turned 21, I was in college at a bar, of course, and spent the entire night repeating the phrase, "It's my birthday!"  I was even saying it while I was bent over praying to the porcelain God and my two best friends fought over who would hold my hair.

Every birthday since, my phrase of the day on my birthday has become, "It's my birthday!"

The sunshine came through my window this morning, but even if it had been a rainy day it wouldn't matter, cause it's my birthday!  

I was awakened by my family with hugs and cards and presents and a nice wet lick across my face (the dog), because it's my birthday!

Friends and family call or write to celebrate me.  Even my friend who owns a DC sports bar, Nellie's, put my name on the chalkboard today.  Who needs their name in lights?  I do, because it's my birthday!   

By 11:13 am I had 67 posts on my Facebook timeline because it's my birthday!  

When I arrived at the gym this morning, I was showered with birthday greetings.  My pilates instructor, Abby, who owns her own catering company and blogs about it even baked me birthday cupcakes because it's my birthday!

It's so wonderful to be me no matter what age I am.  I love being an Aries.  I love getting older and wiser.  I'm so proud of my heritage.  I adore my life as the Family CEO: a blogger, a wife, a mother!  I want to scream from the rooftops, "Let the celebrations begin.  It's my birthday!"

It's going to be the best day ever cause it's my birthday.  

Wait a minute!  I just realized I share a birthday with Carmen Electra:  model, actress, sex symbol, appeared in Playboy magazine, and television show 'Baywatch'.  Kindergarten SUCKS!

Kindergarten SUCKS!: Summer School

Kindergarten SUCKS!: Summer School: It appears that first grade isn't what it used to be.  I've been told by many parents and teachers that they "hit the ground running" on the...