Monday, January 30, 2012

Kindergarten SUCKS!: Johnny Rocket's High Fives

Kindergarten SUCKS!: Johnny Rocket's High Fives: Yesterday, after mass, O and her cousins, E and V wanted to go to Johnny Rockets. I thought it was for the milkshakes, however, as soon as ...

Johnny Rocket's High Fives

Yesterday, after mass, O and her cousins, E and V wanted to go to Johnny Rockets.  I thought it was for the milkshakes, however, as soon as we walked through the door they each made it clear that it was all about this “crane drain” machine on the back of the restaurant wall. 

I'm sure you are all too familiar with that machine.  It's the kind with the crane that picks up the stuffed animals and makes a child so "happy", or angry if you fail to secure a prize.  I add the “drain” to the name because it's almost impossible to do it without draining the cash from ones wallet.  When I was little, I distinctly remember begging my parents for more money to try and try again and again to win a prize.   

Whenever my girlfriend Camilla's husband walks into a restaurant with his three girls and sees a "crane drain" machine, he knows from past experience, that he is going to spend a lot of money in trying to get three stuffed animals out of that machine.  He offers to pay up front $100 in exchange for the owner/manager to unlock the machine and give him the stuffed animals rather than him having to waste his time and end up with three very unhappy or angry children if none, one or just two girls win a prize even after daddy has spent $30-$50 dollars trying on their behalf.  

My sister-in-law and I left it up to our husbands to come through without spending more than $20.  O got hers first, a kitty with a big head, big eyes and a scratched up collar, which made me think maybe these stuffed animals were donated.  I mean my attic holds enough stuffed animals to fill two of those machines and I'm not a hoarder.  That doesn't include all the hundreds of stuffed animals that I have already donated in the last five years without O's approval.  

O's uncle came through for his daughter E picking up a puppy with a red collar on it which E affectionately named "Bisquit" and then the pressure was on for him to come through for little V who at 18 months old could really have cared less, but since her cousins were happy with new gifts she obviously expected one too.  

As we watch, we are all in suspense...can he do it?  What will she get?  He picks up an elephant...he pulls the crane towards the slot, but OHHHHHHHH.  The elephant's trunk gets caught and it drops.  He tries again.  This time he picks up another dog, he pulls the crane to the slot, and YES!  The crowd cheers, the kids jump up and down.  We are all watching this like it's a football game and we are celebrating a touchdown.  High fives all around the restaurant.  Beers on the house!  

It was fun!  My brother-in-law pulled through for both kids and all total they spent $17.00.  When O got home I asked her if she wanted to sleep with her kitty.  She said, "Nah!  I'm going to sleep with my knuffle bunny."  Within two hours of getting the new kitty which her dad worked very hard for, and allowed his food to get cold while doing so, she was over it.  And after seeing Toy Story Three, it does make one wonder how many stuffed animals really do end up in landfills across the country.  Kindergarten SUCKS!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Backpack

This morning we awoke 15 minutes behind schedule.  However, with a few shortcuts in our routine (like wearing the socks from yesterday) we made it to the bus just in time.  

Since I lost my voice, and O is doing anything and everything (except wearing a mask) to not catch what I have, her kiss, hug and kiss on the hand has turned into a fist bump.  After we bumped fists, I told her I loved her and headed to the other side of the bus with my dear friend G.  We said goodbye all the while her daughter appeared to be trying to tell me something through the window.  The bus pulled away and G and I headed home with the other parents.  

G had a gorgeous new coat on and I whispered a comment on its coolness and in the middle of my comment she stopped me, and in her adorable southern accent said, "Oh Honey, you have O's backpack!". I felt my  face go pale as I was at a total loss for words.  Before I could say anything she swung it onto her shoulder and said, "It's going to be OK.  I'm taking it to school.". "NO!" I shrieked at an octave that I don't think is even part of my register.  It was the first thing I hadn't whispered in two days.  It was the first thing I had spoken in two days.  It sounded like a pig being made into bacon.

G began to run away with O's backpack over her shoulder all the while yelling, "I'm doing it and you can't yell at me not to".  And off she went, without so much as a fist bump.

I walked home covered in a blanket and full of emotion.  G is and continues to be the most loving soul.  She loves unconditionally and is always there to help a girl out.  As my neighbor and dear friend, I'm so blessed!  Her bright light is full of goodness.  

When O got off the bus she was laughing about it. She said G was at school before O even got off the bus! Thank you, G!

Kindergarten SUCKS!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I Want my Mommy

I'm sick in bed.

My head feels like its going to blow up.  My throat feels like sandpaper rubbing against the inside of my voice box.  

All I want is comfort food, chocolate and my mommy.  I don't have a voice, a butler to bring me food when I ring the bell or a nanny to pick up my child from the bus stop.  Thank goodness my husband could take my child to school this morning.  What would I do without him and his chicken noodle soup?  Oh no!  I just realized today is Wednesday, early release day, which means instead of me picking O up at 4, I pick her up at 1:45!  Kindergarten SUCKS!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

We Will Miss "Alice the Great"

O's Great Grandmother died this morning.  She was 95 years old.  We liked to refer to her as "Alice the Great",  a name O's cousins lovingly tagged her after watching an episode of "Little Bill".  

She lived a long life.  Her favorite past times were creating beautiful flower arrangements, gardening, painting with watercolors, farming, varmint hunting and cooking for her family.  

She took great satisfaction in killing moles with her a shovel when they ate her garden.  

She was a funny woman who withstood the task of raising five ornery men, one being my loving father-in-law.  God Bless her!  She will be missed greatly!  Kindergarten SUCKS!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Nana and Cancer


Last Friday we found out that O'Malley's Nana, my mom, has stage one lobular cancer in her right breast. Radiation is hopefully the extent of what is needed to fight it.  

When I told O she asked, "What is cancer anyway?  Grandpa had it and now Nana has it?"  I responded, "It's a disease.  Disease lives in all of our bodies and sometimes it comes out to teach us how strong we are and how grateful we can be for every birthday cake, every friend we make and every breath we take."  O said, "Is Nana scared?"  I replied, "Of course, sometimes life can be scary, but she also knows, like we do, that everything is going to be ok.  Nana is a strong woman.  She is upbeat.  She's excited as she now has a good excuse to say no to the things that take her away from spending more time with you and your cousins."

O'Malley replied, "I love her." 

No doubt about it, CANCER SUCKS.  Kindergarten sucks too! 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Artwork

Mounds and mounds of O's artwork fill our attic.  

I keep saying that I can't keep everything, but somehow I manage to find a place for it.  Our attic is filled with artwork.  I guarantee that if my house was inspected for fire hazards like a school classroom it would be condemned .. Just the quantities of O's work ... Finger paintings, dot paintings, watercolors, acrylics, tempera paintings, sculptures made of clay, wire and cement, jewelry made of beads, seashells and sequins, sewing projects using thread, dental floss and muslin, inventions made of toilet paper rolls, styrofoam and a red Hoover vacuumn cleaner O took apart and tried to make a robot out of.  Jeez,  I'm pretty sure we got that Hoover for our wedding.  The collection all started when she was a tot and it's stock-piled ever since.

At a Christmas bazaar I attended over the holidays, I met Kristen Brennan Matheis.  She was promoting Preschool Palettes.  Her business is for a mom like me to pay her to photograph thirty of my child's art pieces and she will produce a coffee table book as a memory keepsake.  Sounds great, right? When I went into the attic to see how many pieces of art that had, wouldn't you know I had 250 master pieces.

The next day I had coffee with a group of O's preschool moms.  I was telling them about this.  They thought it was brilliant.  My girlfriend, Marie (the queen of organization) did this kind of thing with her children's works of art last summer.  She and her children went through every piece of artwork they had stored away and had three piles:  the "KEEP" pile (those she would photograph), the "GIVE AWAY" pile (those they wanted their grandparents to receive and an "I DON'T KNOW" pile (aka TRASH).  Marie added that when she went to the post office to send the artwork to the grandparents, the woman behind the counter said, "Does your package contain anything liquid, perishable, fragile or potentially hazardous?"  Marie answered, "Depends on who's answering that question.  It's kid's art."  The woman smiled and ever so kindly asked if she wanted it sent first class, registered or standard.  Marie said, "The cheapest ever.  I just want it out of my house."  Then the woman asked her if she wanted the package to be tracked.  Marie said, "No thank you.  I just want it out of my house."  The woman asked if she wanted to insure the package.  "Nope.  I just want it out of my house."

This weekend O and I went through our artwork.  All brilliant works of art stayed in the KEEP pile.  I coerced her enough to give up 21 to the "GIVE AWAY" pile and 32 went to the "I DON'T KNOW" pile.  That said, we now have a total of 198 masterpieces to photograph.  Thank God for digital cameras. 

Kindergarten SUCKS!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Tito Speaks

Tito Mukopadhyay is a twenty two year old autistic man who has written essays, poems and authored books in which he provides a lens for the public to see the world as someone with autism.  His most recent book, How Can I Talk if My Lips Don't Move, is an incredible read.

Tito's mother, Soma Mukopadhyay is considered by many as an expert on autistic children who face the stigma of being considered mentally retarded, children who appear locked in their own world unable to communicate or think for themselves.  Through Soma's experiences in raising and teaching Tito, she has designed what is known as the rapid prompting method (RPM) for improving academic and communication skills for children with autism and similar disorders. Soma has created a non-profit organization called HALO providing help for autism and similar disorders through learning and outreach.

My dear friend Shelly has a beautiful daughter named Camille who is severely autistic.  Shelly and her husband, Joe, who are heroic champions in the fight to cure autism, hired Soma to come to DC and teach Camille’s teachers, caregivers and parents how to utilize RPM.  Soma travelled with Tito, as she does often, and she plans ahead so that while she is teaching to Tito is taken care of and exposed to wherever they are visiting.  For his DC visit, I and my friend Michelle had the privilege of being asked to spend the day with him.  

In the week leading up to their arrival, I read and watched everything I could about Tito and Soma, including articles, websites and even a youtube video of his time on "60 Minutes".  Shelly emailed her best friend Michelle and me after she initially met him to tell us what a beautiful man he is.  She also said that her friend Karen had taken him out that day and offered us some insight on managing a day with him.

As a teacher I always expect to learn from those I interact with.  Tito was no exception.  As a parent, I had an expectation to keep him safe.  And as a human being I had an expectation to ensure the experience was one in which he felt valued, loved and happy.  Because my experience with autism is limited to sweet Camille, I was somewhat nervous as I knew meeting new people can be very difficult for those with autism as it takes time for a trust to be formed.  However, it relieved me to know that Michelle and I would be working as a team to make sure he had an enjoyable day.  

Michelle and I have become acquainted through Shelly, and have been together on many occasions for social events. However, this would be the first opportunity we would spend time together without Shelly as our common denominator.  I admire Michelle.  She has a calming way and a quiet confidence that lights up conversation.  As such, it was a pleasure to spend time with her as we escorted Tito around the city.

After dropping O off at the bus Thursday morning, I met Michelle at Shelly’s where Tito was staying.  When we arrived he was sitting at the kitchen table putting together puzzles.  We introduced ourselves and in her soothing tone Michelle explained who we were and told him what he could expect of our day, including lunch. 

We started at the National Cathedral where our tour guide, Mrs. Everett, was wonderful and informative.  She was patient, kind and respectful of Tito.  As you may know, autistic children often move their bodies in a form called “stimming” to manage emotions and help themselves handle overwhelming sensory input.  Similarly, If you have ever bit your nails or paced back and forth, you too have effectively "stimmed".  When Tito would begin movements such as these, Michelle and I would assure him with a smile or a soft touch signaling that it's all ok and he would stop.   

I can't speak for Michelle's experience, however, it's important for me to note that during the tour there was a point where Tito came up and took my hand.  It was a gesture that made me think of my own calming experiences with O.  Even though she is not autistic, she is an observer who reaches out in her own time to show she trusts you. 

Yesterday Tito taught me to open my eyes to so much more of the world.  Because he doesn't speak, he takes in the world using his other senses.  Through him, I took in so much more of the beauty of the National Cathedral.  Where most of us, including me, would simply look and seemingly learn, I watched as he truly explored – smelling the pages of the hymnals and touching the different textures of the woods, metals and fabrics.  When Michelle and I were looking at the stained glass windows Mrs. Everett was referring to, Tito appeared to be staring at the reflections of light cast by the sun coming through the window.  As he observed more, so did I.  It was then that I realized, we as a society sometimes don’t notice all that is in front of us and therefore ignore things that we should be more focused on. For me, I found a compelling need to support efforts such as those to combat autism and other disorders after seeing a little bit of the world through Tito’s eyes.  

Afterwards, we went to lunch and sat in a table by the window.  Tito took in all the textures and tastes of the food while Michelle and I discussed our tour and the interesting facts about the cathedral.  We recounted: 

  • The National Cathedral took 83 years of construction to build
  • The first stone was laid in 1907 and the last stone laid in 1990
  • Total cost for building the cathedral was $65 million
  • Some of the tiniest organ pipes are no bigger than a straw
  • Only one president, Woodrow Wilson, is buried there
Fun facts.  After lunch, we got in the car, but as I pulled out of the parking space I heard Tito make a sound.  I turned to Tito and noticed he was grinning ear to ear.  I asked him if he was happy.  He said, "yes".  I said, "Me too, Tito.  I'm happy too."   

My heart is filled with gratitude that Michelle and I and Tito spent our time together yesterday.  The Cathedral was built stone by stone over the course of eighty three years.  Like the cathedral, stone by stone, we can all give autistic children a venue to speak their creative mind by opening to the children and parents living with autism daily and by using resources and teachers like Soma to give them a voice.  

Tito said, "One day I dream that we can grow in a matured society where nobody would be normal or abnormal human beings, accepting any other human being- ready to grow together."  -The Mind Tree  

"Thank you, Tito, for spending the day with us and building my awareness of our world."

Kindergarten SUCKS!  AUTISM SPEAKS!  

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Bapa Tales

My father is an honorable man who served his country and paid a high price for it.  As a result, he can barely read or write.  As a Marine who served in Vietnam he took a bullet in the chest for our freedom.  

O regards her grandfather, whom she refers to as Bapa, as somewhat bigger than life (perhaps he is considering his size and what he went through).  Through different conversations she has learned about his lack of reading ability.  It seems it has perplexed her, but I didn't realize the extent until some more recent conversations.

As with most kids, O's kindergarten year has provided her the opportunity to learn how to read words and sentences, not all, but she's gaining more and more every day.  Then, over the holidays, Bapa came to visit.  Believe me, Bapa can tell stories (whoppers … most of which are not for children), but has a hard time reading them so he leaves that to others.  One day, O and my dad were having lunch.  She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and said, "Bapa, out of all of my friends, all of my family, you are the only person one who doesn't know how to read."  He thought it cute as she said it with such honesty.

However, now my father thinks kindergarten SUCKS!  So does war. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Tooth Fairies and Expectations

Happy New Year!  O rang in the new year by loosing her first tooth.  

Three weeks ago O excitedly shared that her bottom front right tooth was loose.  Due to the fact that I share a lot with you, O has begun to clue in to the fact that the blog includes a lot about her.  And because some of you are more local and vocal, she has heard comments about events in the blog that people would not know about unless they were there at the time.  As such, she now makes me "pinky promise" that I won't tell ANYONE about this or that, let alone write about it.  

O was very selective about who she shared the news of her loose tooth with (and my lips were sealed after pinky promising on my life) but the more people she told, the more it seemed the entire world was getting excited.  

Her teacher, Mrs. M gave her a plastic tooth necklace with a locket so she would have something to put it in when it fell out.  We also gave her a large plastic glow in the dark tooth fairy box which served two purposes.  First, to keep her discarded teeth in (just like her grandparents).  Second, something that would be easily found by the tooth fairy.

Then it happened! New Year's Day.  She was drawing a picture while wiggling her loose tooth with her tongue.  It started to bleed.  She ran to the mirror to check it out and started to cry at the sight of seeing the blood inside her mouth.  In order to try to stop the bleeding, I held a Kleenex against the tooth and somehow it came out in the Kleenex.  She then went back to the mirror where she watched it bleed with a smile on her face.  This time she appeared less concerned about the blood and more excited about the space where her tooth used to be.  She repetitively kept looking in the mirror and then at her tooth.  It was all so magical. 

The first thing she said after staring at it in the mirror with her daddy was, "We have got to tell Nana."  To which daddy replied, "OK, let's call her."  O responded, "No, let's skype her so she can see the space between my teeth."  Ten minutes later we were skyping the news to the grandparents who were thrilled, to say the least.  Then we called the non-skyping side of the family.

That night she placed her tooth under her pillow in the fancy tooth box with a note that read:

to tHe tootH FAiRy
Win u cum For A Vist
PLEs Willl u lev MY tootH?
Fel FRee to leV PRiS
LOVE O

So much for a plastic tooth box.  It kept slipping out when she lay on the pillow and the glow from the box kept causing her to refocus her eyes to the light in the dark.  (Probably the reason why I had a tooth pillow.  What was I thinking?)  It took her awhile to fall asleep from the excitement she was feeling about the possibility of a fairy flying into her room in the middle of the night.

A couple hours after she fell asleep the "tooth fairies" began to search for money to leave under her pillow.  Her daddy tooth fairy only had a twenty dollar bill in his wallet so he went in and placed that in the box under her pillow.  The mommy tooth fairy kept searching.  Seriously, what do you do when it's 10:00 pm and you are without cash?  It seriously ran through my mind to call a neighbor or better yet post it to the neighborhood list serve.  

When daddy tooth fairy told mommy tooth fairy what he did, mommy tooth fairy went to bed and had a nightmare about all her parents friends’ reactions if O told everyone that she got a twenty dollar bill from the tooth fairy.  Mommy tooth fairy awoke to tell daddy tooth fairy to look in one undisclosed money location and switch out the twenty dollar bill with anything lower.  He found a five dollar bill.  It's better than twenty! (well, maybe not at Nordstrom, but that's beside the point).  After all, as time goes on, twenty dollars a tooth is going to get costly and we don't even know if she will need braces or any other dental surgery (I fear the Irish in her).

The next day O awoke to find the tooth fairy had come.  "Mommy, she left my tooth and a green piece of paper with a five on it..."  Her voice trailed off.  When I came into her room she was looking under her bed.  She had ripped off all the covers and pillow cases.  She was searching for a note from the fairy.  UHOH!  Seriously, this fairy work is tough stuff.  

When her two friends, Lina and Mimi arrived for a play date, she took them up to her room and while pointing to her mouth she said, "Guys, I have something to show you.  Look!"  These two friends jumped up and down in excitement all the while asking what the tooth fairy brought her.  She showed them that too.  

This led to some wonderful conversation where Lina and Mimi shared that one time Lina got a gold coin cause they were vacationing with their grandma in Maine and the tooth fairy there is different than their tooth fairy in Virginia (Virginia being a Right to Work state and all).  Another time, their older brother got raisins because at the time, he didn’t believe in the tooth fairy.  

O's tooth out of her mouth must return it this instant!  O and her friends giggled.  Kay asked, "What did the tooth fairy bring you?"  O answered, "A green paper with a five on it" then adding her disappointment, "but she didn't leave a note."  Kindergarten SUCKS!