Tito Mukopadhyay is a twenty two year old autistic man who has written essays, poems and authored books in which he provides a lens for the public to see the world as someone with autism. His most recent book, How Can I Talk if My Lips Don't Move, is an incredible read.
Tito's mother, Soma Mukopadhyay is considered by many as an expert on autistic children who face the stigma of being considered mentally retarded, children who appear locked in their own world unable to communicate or think for themselves. Through Soma's experiences in raising and teaching Tito, she has designed what is known as the rapid prompting method (RPM) for improving academic and communication skills for children with autism and similar disorders. Soma has created a non-profit organization called HALO providing help for autism and similar disorders through learning and outreach.
My dear friend Shelly has a beautiful daughter named Camille who is severely autistic. Shelly and her husband, Joe, who are heroic champions in the fight to cure autism, hired Soma to come to DC and teach Camille’s teachers, caregivers and parents how to utilize RPM. Soma travelled with Tito, as she does often, and she plans ahead so that while she is teaching to Tito is taken care of and exposed to wherever they are visiting. For his DC visit, I and my friend Michelle had the privilege of being asked to spend the day with him.
In the week leading up to their arrival, I read and watched everything I could about Tito and Soma, including articles, websites and even a youtube video of his time on "60 Minutes". Shelly emailed her best friend Michelle and me after she initially met him to tell us what a beautiful man he is. She also said that her friend Karen had taken him out that day and offered us some insight on managing a day with him.
As a teacher I always expect to learn from those I interact with. Tito was no exception. As a parent, I had an expectation to keep him safe. And as a human being I had an expectation to ensure the experience was one in which he felt valued, loved and happy. Because my experience with autism is limited to sweet Camille, I was somewhat nervous as I knew meeting new people can be very difficult for those with autism as it takes time for a trust to be formed. However, it relieved me to know that Michelle and I would be working as a team to make sure he had an enjoyable day.
Michelle and I have become acquainted through Shelly, and have been together on many occasions for social events. However, this would be the first opportunity we would spend time together without Shelly as our common denominator. I admire Michelle. She has a calming way and a quiet confidence that lights up conversation. As such, it was a pleasure to spend time with her as we escorted Tito around the city.
After dropping O off at the bus Thursday morning, I met Michelle at Shelly’s where Tito was staying. When we arrived he was sitting at the kitchen table putting together puzzles. We introduced ourselves and in her soothing tone Michelle explained who we were and told him what he could expect of our day, including lunch.
We started at the National Cathedral where our tour guide, Mrs. Everett, was wonderful and informative. She was patient, kind and respectful of Tito. As you may know, autistic children often move their bodies in a form called “stimming” to manage emotions and help themselves handle overwhelming sensory input. Similarly, If you have ever bit your nails or paced back and forth, you too have effectively "stimmed". When Tito would begin movements such as these, Michelle and I would assure him with a smile or a soft touch signaling that it's all ok and he would stop.
I can't speak for Michelle's experience, however, it's important for me to note that during the tour there was a point where Tito came up and took my hand. It was a gesture that made me think of my own calming experiences with O. Even though she is not autistic, she is an observer who reaches out in her own time to show she trusts you.
Yesterday Tito taught me to open my eyes to so much more of the world. Because he doesn't speak, he takes in the world using his other senses. Through him, I took in so much more of the beauty of the National Cathedral. Where most of us, including me, would simply look and seemingly learn, I watched as he truly explored – smelling the pages of the hymnals and touching the different textures of the woods, metals and fabrics. When Michelle and I were looking at the stained glass windows Mrs. Everett was referring to, Tito appeared to be staring at the reflections of light cast by the sun coming through the window. As he observed more, so did I. It was then that I realized, we as a society sometimes don’t notice all that is in front of us and therefore ignore things that we should be more focused on. For me, I found a compelling need to support efforts such as those to combat autism and other disorders after seeing a little bit of the world through Tito’s eyes.
Afterwards, we went to lunch and sat in a table by the window. Tito took in all the textures and tastes of the food while Michelle and I discussed our tour and the interesting facts about the cathedral. We recounted:
- The National Cathedral took 83 years of construction to build
- The first stone was laid in 1907 and the last stone laid in 1990
- Total cost for building the cathedral was $65 million
- Some of the tiniest organ pipes are no bigger than a straw
- Only one president, Woodrow Wilson, is buried there
Fun facts. After lunch, we got in the car, but as I pulled out of the parking space I heard Tito make a sound. I turned to Tito and noticed he was grinning ear to ear. I asked him if he was happy. He said, "yes". I said, "Me too, Tito. I'm happy too."
My heart is filled with gratitude that Michelle and I and Tito spent our time together yesterday. The Cathedral was built stone by stone over the course of eighty three years. Like the cathedral, stone by stone, we can all give autistic children a venue to speak their creative mind by opening to the children and parents living with autism daily and by using resources and teachers like Soma to give them a voice.
Tito said, "One day I dream that we can grow in a matured society where nobody would be normal or abnormal human beings, accepting any other human being- ready to grow together." -The Mind Tree
"Thank you, Tito, for spending the day with us and building my awareness of our world."
Kindergarten SUCKS! AUTISM SPEAKS!
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