Apples to Apples

Yesterday on the way to school I told O she should get excited because they were going to work with computers at school.  I knew they were having an "apple lab" and parent volunteers would be there, so I wanted to prepare O that I wouldn't be one of them.  Since I had volunteered for everything else, it was the one thing I didn't volunteer for at back to school night.  I also wasn't real interested in being in the classroom while the kids worked on computers.  In fact, when I saw the email go out from the room parent about the time schedule I thought it odd that there were ten volunteers for the "apple lab." As a former teacher, however, I remembered that when introducing new things it was always nice to have a lot of extra hands in the classroom.

All she wanted to talk about was the boy who vommitted at lunch yesterday, so I tried to change the subject and continued to ask her about the computer lab.  "Huh?" She then said they didn't work with computers.  I was totally confused until I took out her folder.  Inside there was a book in the shape of an apple and the pages inside explained the steps of an "apple lab".   I guess with all the press about Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple who passed away last week, I never even considered this being an actual fruit lab.  

Today O came home from school with a cutout of a boy with a basket of apples and a pan on his head.  I asked who it was and she said, "That's Johnny Appleseed."  I sat in silence waiting for more information.  She was coloring a picture as she began to share some facts.  "His real name is Johnny Chapman but they called him Johnny Appleseed because he carried apples and seeds wherever he traveled and always shared them with people.  He planted a lot of apple trees all over the world because he didn't want anyone to be hungry.  Today we still eat the apples that come from some of the trees he planted.  He wore a pan on his head in case it rained.   He wore old clothes with patches and he always went barefoot.  Mommy, he slept outside and didn't even have a motorhome.  He lived when there were no airplanes.  Instead of traveling on airplanes, he rode on horses or in carts pulled by horses.  If he was still living he would be REALLY old."

She really got me thinking.  What kind of apples did Johnny Appleseed plant?  Were they yellow, green or red apples?  Were they Fiji, Gala, Honeycrisp, Cortland, Crispin, Golden delicious, Grannysmith, Melrose, Pink lady, Gingergold...Did he make apple juice, apple pie, apple ice cream, apple turnovers, apple fritters, apple dumplings, apple strudel, apple cobbler, apple cake, apple tart, carmel apples?  Did he even know what a Waldorf salad tasted like?  Oh I hope he did.  Most importantly had he tried an apple mojito, or an apple martini or a chardonnay with a hint of apple?  Probably not.  Poor guy.  Do you think I'm missing the point?  Goodness, I think I am.  Why couldn't the "apple lab" have been a computer lab?  How bout them apples.  Kindergarten SUCKS!