O came home yesterday and said, "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you." So with the biggest eyes and much animation, she informed me of the incident that occurred at school.
Her class and classroom teachers somehow came to find two boys being led out of the boys bathroom in the clenched fists of the vice principal. I envisioned a scene from my childhood of two boys being carried to the principals office by the backs of their shirts; feet scrambling to try and touch the floor. O explained the boys had thrown toilet paper everywhere and completely trashed the boys bathroom. She then said they went to the principal's office and afterwards they were sent back to clean it up, and got in SO much trouble. She added that they probably were sent home.
"Mmmmm...wasn't it just the other night that you and your friends threw Toilet paper all over our house? Mmmmm....and wasn't it just the other night that when I asked what you were doing you said you were making "butt trails"??? Mmmmm..."
Laughter erupted. "Oh yeah. I guess we did. But mommy, I would NEVER do it at school." I was glad to hear that. There are certain words and actions that one can do and say in the comfort of their own home, and not in other places.
O has learned a lot about rules this year. Rules make children feel safe. They are needed boundaries set by those that love them. Every once in a while rules are broken; like when Brittany Spears lets her child ride in the front seat of the car on her lap. However, the paparazzi, principals, bus drivers, and parents all reinforce the obvious. We are their models. They watch and observe and listen to us daily. Brittany Spears, on the other hand, is just another dimwit who can dance, but certainly can't sing.
When I was a kindergarten teacher and I observed someone not being safe or not feeling safe, I would say "Our principal hired me and JJ (my co-teacher) to ensure you are all safe. You can help us do our job by letting us know when you don't feel safe and we will let you know when you are not being safe. This is because anyone who is doing something unsafe is causing someone else to feel unsafe."
As a parent, I don't have JJ there every day and I'm not hired by a principal to be a mom. That said, it's now my job as a mother to keep O safe with loving boundaries. As a parent, bending the rules every once in awhile for "butt trails" allows for lessons and encourages understanding that there is always gray when there is also black and white.
So as parents we learn to lean on each other, drink wine and watch our children grow wise making "butt trails". All the while toasting, "Kindergarten SUCKS".
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