The Kindergarten Parent Coffee

Today they had a Kindergarten Parent Coffee at O's elementary school.  

What you don't know about me is that I am NEVER comfortable in a large group setting.  It's overwhelming for me and unfair for those who don’t get one on one time with moi.  I understand that for those readers who know me personally it's inconceivable, but I would bet that if we looked back at past shared experiences where I was relaxed, it was because I had a glass of wine.  Those of you who don't know me are probably thinking I reference alcohol a lot.  I don't need expensive wine.  I'm totally thrilled with a nice cheap bottle from Costco, however I don't enjoy drinking out of plastic glasses.  When I was a flight attendant years ago, I used to be able to drink wine out of anything, a plastic cup, a styrofoam crew cup, a paper cup, but then I met my girlfriend, Darcey, and it all changed.  If I'm drinking wine, I need a glass, preferrably a wine glass.     

So I arrive at the parent coffee with a glass of wine in hand and the bottle in my purse and an extra wine glass just in case I make a friend.  Sure enough, as soon as I walked in all the mothers couldn't wait to meet me and find a cup, a plastic cup, a styrofoam....I'm just kidding, but doesn't it sound wonderful.  Especially to the wino's reading this!  Does it count that I had my green "Super-girl" drink in tow?  My friend Erin got me hooked on them.  They are so amazing.  They have replaced my coffee in the morning and I crave them daily.  You can read more about that here http://raw4areason.blogspot.com/.  It's like a Margarita without the salt and tequila, but not really.

I walk in the door of the elementary school and right away I meet a woman who's daughter is in Mrs. M's class with O.  She introduced herself right away and we chatted it up.  We talked about her daughter, my daughter, the bus, the transition to school, tattoo parlors and the weather.  

Speaking of which, why do we talk about the weather so much?  Oh that's right, it's a neutral topic of conversation.  It's not sex, drugs or rock and roll and it has nothing to do with religion or politics.  No wonder my mom always asks how's the weather.  I always get thrown off by that question.  She lives 1,247.5 miles away.  I always wondered why she cared if it was windy, rainy, snowy or sunny here or a combination of any of those; but then again she does care about me, so why wouldn't she care about the weather around me.   

Anyways, part of my difficulty with meeting people in big groups is I have never been one to remember people's names.  I'm that person that meets someone new and the next moment I have no clue what to call them.  So I use words like honey, or sugar or love when I ask them questions which I'm sure makes everybody more uncomfortable and probably exasperates THEIR fears of parent coffees.  

So you can understand how elated I was when I entered the multipurpose room and there on the table were sharpies and NAME TAGS!  And for my fear of big groups subsides.  I can breathe.  I feel a bit little more confident about remembering names, because when I forget a name I will look at the name tag.  Oh but wait, my fear returns, because I know from past experiences I always feel weird looking at their name tag, so I find myself thinking of good ways to get a good look at the sticker on their lapel.  There's also the issue that I'm near sighted so I can't see things from far away.  I squint when I trying to read a name tag and I find myself moving closer to their breast bone.  Oh but wait, it gets better, when I'm nervous I'm so good at putting my foot in my mouth so to cover it up that I forgot their name in the first place, I say, "Don't mind me,  I was just wondering, are those real?  Oh right, they must be cause you're not wearing a low cut shirt, but then again it is a parent coffee."  That’s a generalization and in now way reflects the attendees of the parent coffee.

Oh Thank God!  The principal who I really like is about to say something.  He reminds me of one of my favorite mentors during my teaching career except he is not a stylish woman.  However, like her, he has a wonderful sense of humor and appears approachable and connected with the teachers and parents, but most importantly, the children.  

He opens with a welcome and continues to the first four days of school and the impact of the weather not allowing for outdoor time.  Oh please, can anyone stop talking about the weather?  Wait!  I take that back.  He has a funny, he furthered his comment and said, "I visited a classroom this week and the teacher was reading them a book that they were engaged in and there were kids laying down, standing up, doing handstands, bending sideways, whatever they could do to listen."  I like him.  

It was then time to visit our child's kindergarten classroom so we headed down the hall.  I walked in and couldn't find O.  I started scanning every child the entire time I was thinking, "Oh no, where is she?  Is she in the bathroom?  Did she not get off that dirty, loud, stinky, dark bus I forced her to get on this morning?"...and then our eyes met.  "Hi sweet girl!" And we both smiled and I blew her a kiss, since she had been instructed to stay on the rug.  

Ms. L (Mrs. M's assistant) lead them in a song called, "A Tooty Ta".  After it was over, O came and asked me for a sip of my "Supergirl" drink.  Good thing I didn't bring the wine!  She didn't participate much.  However, she came home yesterday and taught me the song and the actions, so I knew this was her way of learning and it was my job to smile and not push for her to do what 99% of her class was doing.  They did a couple more songs to get the wiggling willy's out and then Ms. L told them that anyone who is a "B-O-Y" can go get their snack, and then again with "G-I-R-L".  It was a creative way to ensure they were listening and offerring a connection between letters and words we speak daily.  Love it!

At that point, the other mom who I met at the very beginning said, "I feel terrible, my daughter doesn't have a snack."  I immediately jumped to my feet...SUPERGIRL TO THE RESCUE!  "Your daughter doesn't have a snack?  Don't worry!  I'll save the day and at the same time, model for O an action of caring and sharing."  O and I ventured to her locker where I noticed already her ability to organize.  Her backpack was hanging on one hook, her coat on the other and her lunchbox was on the floor of her locker.  I was so impressed with her organizational skills that I had to ask her, "Did you unpack your backpack and hang your coat up all by yourself?  Did someone help you with it?"  She said, "I did it" and held out her hand for a high five.  At that moment I wasn't just proud, I was DAMN PROUD!  (A phrase my girlfriend's father, J, used to say and now I totally understand why.  I miss you J. Herman!)  I slapped her a high five, she chose a snack for her and a snack for her friend and we sauntered back into her classroom where she handed her friend a granola bar and she ate an apple.  

Everyone was happy.  I chatted with her new friends at her table for awhile and then said my goodbyes adding a kiss and a hug and two kisses on each palm for her to hold to her cheeks.  And she smiled and kissed my hand too.  As I walked out of her classroom with my "kissing hand" on my cheek, I became teary.  She's happy, she's safe and she's learning!  

And as I walked out the front door into the parking lot, I dropped my green drink and it spilled everywhere.  Some of the mom's who were still standing there chatting looked at me and I yelled, "Kindergarten Sucks!"