Riding the Bus is Part of Kindergarten

When O came off the bus yesterday she was in tears.  She had left her backpack on the bus and wasn't sure which seat she had been sitting in.  Right behind her was a 5th grade angel handing us her backpack.  As we walked home together I let her do the talking and I listened.  She told me about the box turtle that her teacher brought to school that day.  I didn't ask many questions because I wanted her to decide what she wanted me to know about her day.  She told me that her 1st grade friend, G, sat by her on the way home and how happy she was about that.

However, she also said she didn't care for the bus and today at school she drew a picture of it.  She said she colored hers black.  BLACK?  I'm not one to analyze drawings but it didn't take much for me to realize that this bus in her mind was not a vehicle of much light.  She also informed me the bus stops too much.  The only good thing about it is what her friends,  Mimi and Lina taught her and that's how to draw on the window when its fogged over.  The other thing she didn't like about the bus was that it doesn't have a bathroom so she went a little in her pants on the ride home.  I told her that was OK, because everyone has accidents.  She said tomorrow she would make a plan to go to the bathroom before she gets on the bus.  Great idea, O, now give your brain a kiss for that insight!

It was a relaxing night with books.  I listened to her Monet's about her day.  While she was in the bath, I explained that this morning was really hard for both of us and that tomorrow we will need to do the same thing again and that it is my hope that one day we could say good bye with smiles instead of tears.

We read Kindergarten Rocks by Katie Davis again at bedtime and she was happy to share that her school has custodians like the ones in the book.  She shared that she didn't like lunch time and I made a note to myself so that at some point I can get to the bottom of that (who knows? might even be a blog topic).  More importantly, she told me she did not like the bus and requested I take her in the car tomorrow.  I told her that taking her in the car was not an option, but maybe she could dream of ways to shine a little light on the bus.

This morning she woke me at 6:00 am to inform me that the bus is still a dark bus, so the only solution is for me to take her in the car to school.  I explained that was not an option.  However, I did tell her that just like the turtle at school who goes into his shell when he is scared, she can go inside and listen to her breath.  Riding the bus is part of going to Kindergarten.  She was so sad.  She wasn't crying but she wasn't happy.  My husband asked her where she was going and requested she make him bacon and eggs.  She grunted, so he told her not to get so upset cause he would be happy with a bagel.  She told him she'd be happy if she didn't have to go on the bus.

The morning continued much like this.  She was a roller coaster of emotions.  When it was time to leave for the bus her tears began to fall.  We put on our raincoats and headed out the door.  We hadn't even left our yard before she was screaming that she hated school and then she scrunched up her face and spoke the harshest words anyone could say to their mother with..."YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"  Really?  I ruined her life?  I could be wrong, (in fact I hope I am) but I think Kindergarten ruined mine.

And so I dragged her to the bus, scooped her up in my arms, sat her in the middle of a new friend and her 1st grade friend, G, and I stood there as the bus drove away and then cried on my dear friend's shoulder while all the other parents stared not knowing what to say.

A few hours later, I received a gift...another mom-friend had been at Taylor that morning.  She wrote an email that said: "So I saw O today walking down the hall.  She had her arms wrapped around a new friend who was walking in front of her...and she was laughing and smiling.  I thought you would want to know that."  My heart is filled with comfort and love for emails such as these.  Every time I receive a note about my child such as this, I find myself hanging onto every last word.  I thanked the heavens that she wasn't still crying.

Hopefully, for O, each trip on the bus will allow her the opportunity to shine her light and make it brighter.  As for me, "I ruined her life" by making her ride the bus to Kindergarten and tomorrow I will ruin her life again.  Therefore, Kindergarten still SUCKS!