Did you know it is school policy for the parents not to walk their children on the bus? Unfortunately, O and I found out the hard way--military style with a type A substitute bus driver.
As I walk O on the bus this morning, I introduce myself to this "new to our route" bus driver and satirically comment that I am going to school today too. In a stern voice he said, "NOT ON MY BUS, YOU'RE NOT!" I smiled and said, "No, not really, I'm just walking her to her seat." He responded again, "NOT ON MY BUS YOU'RE NOT!" as he stood up, he stomped his feet. Then he said, "THAT'S MY JOB."
Wait, let me get this straight. You want to parent my child? Am I in a horror movie? Is he going to to take off that scary mask and tell me I've been punked? That would be so cool. I love Ashton Kutcher!
By this time, fear had overcome O, but she took a spot quickly while her friend Mimi moved to sit next to her. We said our sweet goodbyes and I left not looking at the bus driver who I wanted to give the bird. I didn't just in case he WAS Ashton Kutcher. I mean who wants to be seen by 40 million viewers flipping-off the camera?
When I returned home I called the county bus office and reported him. "Hello Bus Supervisor? Hi. I'm calling to report an #&*hole." The woman did not dismiss the negative incident, but did inform me that it is school policy to keep parents off the bus. I kindly thanked her and hung up after telling her it was my policy to tell people who have stupid rules to shove it.
Then I thought about O again. WHAT? You mean we have to say our goodbyes at the curb? NO! We can't. She can't. I can't. We've come so far, and yes, that is our goal, but we need more time. Oh where, oh where is our sweet bus driver, Mr. Billy? From day one he has allowed us to ease into this difficult transition.
I then called the school counselor and explained the incident, requesting she check in on O. She assured me she would.
I said goodbye to my husband as he left for work and then I sat on the kitchen floor and thought about it all. Should I drive her to school? Should I force her on the bus each day? When have I gone too far? How will I ever know when enough is enough? When will I stop fighting with myself? Would someone please show me the answer??? And then the answer came to me...SPANX!
I remembered a conversation I had at the dog park with a neighbor the day before. She is very down to earth and I've always admired her way with dogs and people. Further into the conversation, she was telling me about her dog who is obsessive compulsive and paces the house constantly. She laughed and said she actually uses a special band for her dog because it holds him in tightly and it calms him. Seems sensible. As a kindergarten teacher, I am familiar with this type of calming. I was trained in Brain Gym which taught teachers a special hold to help with calming anxiety. Of course, you have to know the sensitivities of the child as some children are very sensitive to touch. O always relaxes in this hold. Wait! That is it! BUS SPANX!
I just remembered something...O says she hates not being in a seatbelt on the bus. AH-HA! Why this is a great way to calm her! I will patten it. My girlfriend will market it.
I wipe the tears from my eyes while I run up to my closet. I decide to test my theory and put on my spanx. It always takes me a few extra minutes to pull spanx on. I throw on a pair of workout capris, tshirt and sneakers, drink my "super-girl" drink and head for the gym. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling calmer.
On the way there, I jam to Katy Perry's song, TGIF as I continue to pat myself on the back. I will never stop wearing spanx. Never! I can't believe I worked through this. I feel so much better.
As soon as I get to the gym I run to the restroom. The green drink does that. I potty, however when I go to pull up my pants I remember the reason why I hate spanx. ERRRRCH! In my head it sounded as though a record had scratched on my turntable.
Spanx is really good at pulling it in and making one feel calmer, but once they come down, it always takes a good 13 minutes to get them back up again. I throw them in the trash and decide today is not the day to find a solution. No big deal. It's friday. I have the weekend.
When I get home, I get online and google 'dogs with OCD'. I find another solution...a pheromone collar for dogs that releases pheromones that mother dogs produce to calm and reassure their puppies. It helps with stressful situations for separation anxiety. PERFECT! I order one.
I call my husband. I did it! I found the perfect tool. He calmly reminds me my daughter is a human, not a canine. Oh, right. Damn! OK. I cancel the order, but not before I yell, "Kindergarten SUCKS!
As I walk O on the bus this morning, I introduce myself to this "new to our route" bus driver and satirically comment that I am going to school today too. In a stern voice he said, "NOT ON MY BUS, YOU'RE NOT!" I smiled and said, "No, not really, I'm just walking her to her seat." He responded again, "NOT ON MY BUS YOU'RE NOT!" as he stood up, he stomped his feet. Then he said, "THAT'S MY JOB."
Wait, let me get this straight. You want to parent my child? Am I in a horror movie? Is he going to to take off that scary mask and tell me I've been punked? That would be so cool. I love Ashton Kutcher!
By this time, fear had overcome O, but she took a spot quickly while her friend Mimi moved to sit next to her. We said our sweet goodbyes and I left not looking at the bus driver who I wanted to give the bird. I didn't just in case he WAS Ashton Kutcher. I mean who wants to be seen by 40 million viewers flipping-off the camera?
When I returned home I called the county bus office and reported him. "Hello Bus Supervisor? Hi. I'm calling to report an #&*hole." The woman did not dismiss the negative incident, but did inform me that it is school policy to keep parents off the bus. I kindly thanked her and hung up after telling her it was my policy to tell people who have stupid rules to shove it.
Then I thought about O again. WHAT? You mean we have to say our goodbyes at the curb? NO! We can't. She can't. I can't. We've come so far, and yes, that is our goal, but we need more time. Oh where, oh where is our sweet bus driver, Mr. Billy? From day one he has allowed us to ease into this difficult transition.
I then called the school counselor and explained the incident, requesting she check in on O. She assured me she would.
I said goodbye to my husband as he left for work and then I sat on the kitchen floor and thought about it all. Should I drive her to school? Should I force her on the bus each day? When have I gone too far? How will I ever know when enough is enough? When will I stop fighting with myself? Would someone please show me the answer??? And then the answer came to me...SPANX!
I remembered a conversation I had at the dog park with a neighbor the day before. She is very down to earth and I've always admired her way with dogs and people. Further into the conversation, she was telling me about her dog who is obsessive compulsive and paces the house constantly. She laughed and said she actually uses a special band for her dog because it holds him in tightly and it calms him. Seems sensible. As a kindergarten teacher, I am familiar with this type of calming. I was trained in Brain Gym which taught teachers a special hold to help with calming anxiety. Of course, you have to know the sensitivities of the child as some children are very sensitive to touch. O always relaxes in this hold. Wait! That is it! BUS SPANX!
I just remembered something...O says she hates not being in a seatbelt on the bus. AH-HA! Why this is a great way to calm her! I will patten it. My girlfriend will market it.
I wipe the tears from my eyes while I run up to my closet. I decide to test my theory and put on my spanx. It always takes me a few extra minutes to pull spanx on. I throw on a pair of workout capris, tshirt and sneakers, drink my "super-girl" drink and head for the gym. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling calmer.
On the way there, I jam to Katy Perry's song, TGIF as I continue to pat myself on the back. I will never stop wearing spanx. Never! I can't believe I worked through this. I feel so much better.
As soon as I get to the gym I run to the restroom. The green drink does that. I potty, however when I go to pull up my pants I remember the reason why I hate spanx. ERRRRCH! In my head it sounded as though a record had scratched on my turntable.
Spanx is really good at pulling it in and making one feel calmer, but once they come down, it always takes a good 13 minutes to get them back up again. I throw them in the trash and decide today is not the day to find a solution. No big deal. It's friday. I have the weekend.
When I get home, I get online and google 'dogs with OCD'. I find another solution...a pheromone collar for dogs that releases pheromones that mother dogs produce to calm and reassure their puppies. It helps with stressful situations for separation anxiety. PERFECT! I order one.
I call my husband. I did it! I found the perfect tool. He calmly reminds me my daughter is a human, not a canine. Oh, right. Damn! OK. I cancel the order, but not before I yell, "Kindergarten SUCKS!
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