The "Wine" Lady on a Safari Hunt

Who knew?  Who knew that it would only take two weeks after kindergarten started for a lice scare to surface?  I got the e-mail around dinner time.  It was from a close friend who's son and O had a playdate over the weekend.  The “lice lady” had just left her house, confirming he had lice.  Poor thing. My heart aches for my friend and, of course, I feel so bad for her son who also just started kindergarten and now has to take a small lice vacay from school.  

I love my friend.  She sent the e-mail with all the resources and a gift certificate.  Just Kidding; O was fortunate to have been spared by the critters, but more about the panic in making sure of this below...

But back to the lice lady.  Who even knew there was a lice lady?  Who grows up wanting to be the lice lady?  Who knew there is a website called lice happens?  Who knew my head could be itching the way it has ever since I got the email?  I have so many questions!  Does red wine kill lice?  If it does, can it be a really good bottle of Pinot Noir, like Rochioli?  Do I need a case of it or will one bottle be enough?  Hey, maybe then I can be called “wine lady.”  Yes, when I grow up I want to be a wine lady.  (Not to be mistaken with a WINE-O!

So after sending an email back to my girlfriend: "Oh sugar, I'm so sorry.  You poor thing.  It will be ok.  We will survive.”  I went to the website and then called the lice lady.  She answered after five rings which felt like thirtyone.  My heart was pounding and I was totally out of breath as I thought about all the "what ifs".  Hello, Lice Lady?  She was very sweet and very knowledgeable.  She said chances are very very slim that any little critters were left behind on heads or otherwise.  She ensured me it was very unlikely that unless there was more head to head contact other than a hug between the two kids, O probably does not have it since lice can't hop or fly.  I'll be damned!  Who knew.  


She told me there are some products on the website and if nothing else, I should consider definitely getting a nit comb to use for preventative measures. After dinner, I gave O a bath and did a lice check, read to her and did another lice check, tucked her in and then we said our prayers.  "Dear God, please bless our friends who have lice and please don't give us lice."  Then I got online and ordered the lice kit along with the comb and the magnifing glasses since it said they are good for splinters too.  Damn, I should have just bought that case of wine!  I would have spent about the same amount. 

This morning I checked her again when she woke up and again before we walked to the bus stop.  I put her in a pigtail while she questioned my sudden interest in her scalp. I told her "lice happens".  She said, "What's lice?"  I said, "Just these little bugs that sometimes like to nest in hair."  She asked if they were in her hair and I told her no. Moreover, I ensured her that if they were, we have every ridding product known to man on it's way to our front porch and that Daddy and I will take care of them.  

 

When I got home, I called the school nurse and requested a lice check.  She recommended leave in conditioner and long hair pulled back.  You see, I should have ordered the wine.  Oddly, a similar treatment to my split ends.  As I waited, I sifted through O’s clothes and bedding like a hunter on safari.  Fortunately, no fresh kills can be reported on the home front today.  Then the phone rang.  It was the school nurse.  YEAH, my O was critter free and kindergarten clear.  Yet, "lice happens" for too many kids.  That’s reality!   And for that reason, kindergarten SUCKS!